Who Am I?

Today was one of those days you just want to redo.

There’s not enough time. Nothing is going your way. You’re hangry (hungry and angry). And there’s not enough coffee in a mile radius to wake you up.

Lately, I’ve been doing things that make me ask myself, who am I? Some of these things include:

  • Being forgetful. I forgot my phone today and felt completely lost. Maybe it was the massive diaper malfunction that caused us to have to give Ellie two (yes, two) baths this morning. Threw me off my game! As a result, I didn’t get the message our nanny would be late. I couldn’t call my mom because I didn’t know her phone number. I couldn’t check my email on my way home. It’s sad how dependent I am for this thing that I’m typing on right now.
  • Being late. I thought I was late before, but being in charge of another life makes you even more so. Sorry to anyone I ever have plans with.
  • Being emotional. I chalk this one up to my hormones being out of whack post-pregnancy and post-breastfeeding. I get frustrated all of the time. Mostly at myself. I realize how hard I am on myself, and it’s something I want to try to work on. 
  • Being absent-minded. I lose stuff all of the time. I kid you not, a few weeks ago I couldn’t find my apartment keys to save my life. I even messaged my landlord to check our surveillance cameras to see if I used them to get in my gate. I found them five minutes later in the bottom of my daughter’s laundry basket. I’ve also misplaced earrings, my credit card, and sunglasses…(Wait, is this the same as forgetful? Ha!)

I look at all of these things, and realize I know exactly who I am: I’m a mom now. All moms are different, and these are the traits that make me who I am. I hope some of the are temporary (did I mention I dug through City of Chicago trash and recycling cans to look for my keys?), but I just need to figure out how to survive in my new normal. Please be patient!

PS: I don’t write these posts for sympathy or attention, but more to show that if you’re a mom and can identify, you’re not alone! Or if you’re not, this is a glimpse into my reality (hope I don’t scare you!) Would love to hear what you think.

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