Over the past nine and a half months, I’ve witnessed one of the most special things: Ellie becoming best friends with her pal, Graham.
Graham is the son of one of my best friends, Sandra, who I met when we were co-workers years ago. Sandra and I have laughed together, cried together (ok, so maybe it’s mostly me crying to her, honestly), vacationed together, enjoyed being pregnant together, and now our little ones spend lots of time together.
What is so amazing to me is observing their friendship. Graham is a few months older, and definitely takes care of her, teases her, shows affection to her: all signs of a wonderful friend. Haha.
What makes me so happy, though, is the way she waves her arms with excitement when we get to their house. And the look she gives him when they are together, totally content. Or how worn out she gets after being with him–thanks, G!
This weekend was Graham’s first birthday, and I’m feeling a little reflective. I’m grateful to know E and G have each other warms my heart like no other. To think that they are just starting to navigate this crazy world we live in and they can do it together? That’s pretty special.
The cherry on top? I get to share it all with Sandra and our hubbies, too.
Today was one of those days you just want to redo.
There’s not enough time. Nothing is going your way. You’re hangry (hungry and angry). And there’s not enough coffee in a mile radius to wake you up.
Lately, I’ve been doing things that make me ask myself, who am I? Some of these things include:
- Being forgetful. I forgot my phone today and felt completely lost. Maybe it was the massive diaper malfunction that caused us to have to give Ellie two (yes, two) baths this morning. Threw me off my game! As a result, I didn’t get the message our nanny would be late. I couldn’t call my mom because I didn’t know her phone number. I couldn’t check my email on my way home. It’s sad how dependent I am for this thing that I’m typing on right now.
- Being late. I thought I was late before, but being in charge of another life makes you even more so. Sorry to anyone I ever have plans with.
- Being emotional. I chalk this one up to my hormones being out of whack post-pregnancy and post-breastfeeding. I get frustrated all of the time. Mostly at myself. I realize how hard I am on myself, and it’s something I want to try to work on.
- Being absent-minded. I lose stuff all of the time. I kid you not, a few weeks ago I couldn’t find my apartment keys to save my life. I even messaged my landlord to check our surveillance cameras to see if I used them to get in my gate. I found them five minutes later in the bottom of my daughter’s laundry basket. I’ve also misplaced earrings, my credit card, and sunglasses…(Wait, is this the same as forgetful? Ha!)
I look at all of these things, and realize I know exactly who I am: I’m a mom now. All moms are different, and these are the traits that make me who I am. I hope some of the are temporary (did I mention I dug through City of Chicago trash and recycling cans to look for my keys?), but I just need to figure out how to survive in my new normal. Please be patient!
PS: I don’t write these posts for sympathy or attention, but more to show that if you’re a mom and can identify, you’re not alone! Or if you’re not, this is a glimpse into my reality (hope I don’t scare you!) Would love to hear what you think.
Leap Day. An extra day to take advantage of more time. To do something extraordinary.
It’s easy to go with the motions. Sometimes life feels like Groundhog Day, set to repeat–I dare you to look for the differences in your day and appreciate the little things. I treated myself to an iced coffee this morning. I caught up with my cousin who I’ve been playing phone tag with for weeks. I took my lunch break and enjoyed the short-lived warmer temperature.
But every day is special and one-of-a-kind, especially the time in the day when I’m with my family. When I look in my daughter’s eyes and see pure happiness. It fills my heart in a way I never knew existed, but always needed. When I see how my husband cares for her or my pup gives her a quick lick on the cheek, those are the moments that last a lifetime.
Our time together on the weekdays is short lived, usually only an hour at most in the morning and another hour and a half at night, but it’s the highlight of my day. I rarely leave work on time in the evenings (something I need to keep working on); it’s a constant struggle that gives me a lot of guilt. But when I get home and see my baby’s face light up, she’s everything I need after the hardest of days.
Being a mother is extraordinary work, day in, day out. I appreciate my own mother so much more now, as well as other working mothers, and those who choose to raise their little ones full time. Nothing is easy, life can be hard, but we get through it–and savor it!–one Leap Day at a time.